| Q. |
Which is
better, attending a workshop or going to weekly therapy? |
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| A. |
They both have
advantages. I
recommend that you attend a workshop as soon as possible
because it provides an overview and some practice of all
the Imago ideas and skills.
This can save you time and money in the office,
and you’ll have a solid foundation for your work in
weekly therapy . The
workshop takes your relationship to another level in
just a weekend—results that might take 4-6 months to
achieve in an office setting.
However, sometimes a workshop isn’t scheduled
any time soon but you need to work on your relationship.
Then it’s smart to start weekly counseling to
ensure that things don’t get worse.
Some people like to first work with me and with
Imago ideas for awhile and then take the workshop. |
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| Q. |
I’d
like to go to a workshop but I’m a very private person
and I’d be embarrassed talking in a group.
Couldn’t we just go to counseling in your
office? |
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| A. |
The workshop
is set up so that you do not have to talk in front of
the group unless you choose to.
You are asked only to give a brief introduction
of yourself at the beginning.
You practice new skills alone with your partner
and your issues are completely private. |
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| Q. |
How
long does counseling usually take? |
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| A. |
That depends
on a lot of factors:
your goals, how much unresolved baggage you have
from the past, current stresses and support, how much
you apply what you’ve learned.
For example, some couples just want to stop
fighting, and I can help them do that quickly.
Other couples want to create the best
relationship imaginable and that takes longer.
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| Q. |
I
really want to go to a workshop. My partner is
reluctant but said they’d go. Can we benefit if
both of us aren’t enthusiastic? |
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| A. |
Absolutely.
It is common to have “draggers” and
“draggees.” You
would be surprised at how enthusiastic draggees are at
the end of a workshop.
We have solid evidence as we watch their
attitudes change during the workshop, and we get rave
reviews on evaluations at the end of the workshop. |
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| Q. |
I’m
not sure I want to stay married. Isn’t the
workshop only for couples who want to improve their
relationship? |
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| A. |
The workshop
has a track record of helping couples experience their
partners and their relationships more positively.
Many couples find hope for the future because
they have experienced relating in a new, safer way
during the weekend.
But some couples do discover that there has been
too much hurt and it is too late to save the marriage.
Even if you decide to divorce, the workshop is
beneficial because it will give you essential
information about yourself to take into your next
relationship. You
don’t want to recreate another nightmare and you want
to know how you contributed to the problems.
In Imago we say: It’s not about finding the right partner, it’s about
being the right partner.
While we can’t promise this will happen, we
have had divorced people attend the workshop and get
back together. |
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